2: Tacitus, working with Claudia

Seventh hour (12:30)

Tita turned around to look back at Elena. “The stalls are behind there?” she asked, nodding towards the opening in the back wall.

Elena smiled. “Yes. We made some positive changes while Claudia was away. You will see them tomorrow. Do not worry about them for today.”

Tita imagined they had probably created another stall or two by making the other stalls smaller. She truly hoped the stalls were not cramped.

“The boss Aurelia owns the tavern?” Tita asked.

Elena let go of Tita’s arm. “Aurelia prefers her name, rather than ‘boss’ or ‘chief’. She is direct, but accommodating. And yes, she is co-owner with the tavern’s main owner Marcus Paccius. They have an agreement. Marcus operates the tavern and shares food and staff, while Tacitus and the bodyguards he trains provide protection. And Aurelia has a few of the girls provide entertainment for Marcus and his staff and friends. Everyone is completely trustworthy, though I am sure Claudia has told you that. And she probably mentioned that Tacitus does not speak.”

Tita nodded. “Claudia told me his tongue was cut out years ago, because he was part of a gladiator revolt. I think in Carthage?”

Elena nodded. “Correct. Many were executed, others were punished. He and a few of his friends had their tongues cut out.” Elena rested her hand on Tacitus’ arm.

“Oh, I did not know it was so severe.” Tita looked up at Tacitus. “I am sorry.”

Tacitus did not look at them, but grumbled in a deep and curiously gentle way.

“He thanks you.” Elena added.  “You will learn to understand him…. Claudia told me that you read Latin and a little Greek?” Elena reached down to get something from the floor next to her bench.

“Yes,” said Tita as she admired Elena’s graceful flowing movements and her light blue silk dress. “Claudia and I were tutored by her father’s friend in Latin and some Greek. I can also write in Latin, but only a little bit in Greek.”

“Good. Tacitus uses this scroll to write messages,” Elena held up a parchment scroll and unrolled it so Tita could see the messages. “Make sure to check it often.” Elena smiled.

“Yes, Claudia mentioned this…” Tita was surprised that Tacitus’ handwriting was small and neat. His notes were a list of dates, times, the names of women, men and terse notes like: ‘coming’, ‘going’, ‘staying’, ‘wasting time’, ‘eating too much’, ‘drinking far too much’, ‘idiot’, ‘pig manners’, ‘needs whipping’, ‘no money’, ‘worm food’, ‘farts better than talks’, ‘diseased’, ‘mama’s boy’, ‘good catch’, ‘worthy’, ‘she botched it’, ‘better luck next time’, ‘earned her pay’, ‘her vagina conquered well’, ‘Hail Caesar- an actual man’, and so on. Tita giggled, looking at Elena and up at Tacitus. “He is funny.”

“Tacitus is far more poetic than he cares to admit.” Elena chuckled while rolling up the scroll and looking up at Tacitus, who strongly growled, then cracked a fleeting smile, surprising Tita. “You will learn to love his company, just like the other girls.” Elena laid the scroll back on the floor. “The ink well and stylus are on the floor, in case you need to write a surreptitious message to Tacitus in the scroll.”

“Thank you,” said Tita. She looked up at Tacitus who stared ahead, his large hands still clasped together, his feet slightly apart. She noticed the scars on his arms and legs, the many indentations on his well-worn breast plate, the cuts and marks on his leather skirt. He had two pugios, one on each side, clasped in their sheaths.

Tita imagined Tacitus could easily wield both daggers in a fight. He clearly had survived much gladiator fighting. She imagined he had great strength and power, which led her to wonder how he and Aurelia were like together, if Aurelia was just as strong as Tacitus. Claudia had told Tita that Aurelia and Tacitus had been together for over twenty years. And Claudia had said Aurelia was a strong, powerful woman who demanded excellence from the girls. Tita sighed, hoping she would be able to live up to Aurelia’s expectations.

“Your dress has a lovely shade of green,” said Elena. “It is very beautiful. Did you dye it?” Elena took a flat bread and an apple from the bowl at the end of the bench.

“Yes, thank you,” said Tita sheepishly. “I have a few like this. But your dress is much, much prettier. Your shade of light blue is very, very pretty.”

“Thank you. But silk has natural advantages. It is excellent you made your dresses. Claudia also told us you had an excellent eye for color,” said Elena as she broke the bread in half and gave half to Tita. “Here. Eat.”

Tita realized she was a bit hungry after all. “Thank you.” She started eating the bread.

“At your parent’s clothing shop in Gergovia, you dyed and knitted linen?” Elena asked while using a knife on the table to cut the apple in half, giving Tita one half.

“Yes. But we work with wool, linen, cotton, leather, hides and occasionally silk.”

“Good! Than you can also make dresses for some of the other girls.” Elena smiled as she cut her half of the apple into two wedges and then cut away the core from each wedge. “But make sure you are paid for your work!” Elena laughed and started eating one of her apple wedges.

“Yes. Thank you Elena.” Tita smiled and followed Elena’s lead, using the knife to cut her half of the apple into two wedges and then cutting out the core. The apple tasted very good, and there was a smell of quince. Tita saw there were quinces in the fruit bowl, and the smell made her think of Caecilia. She also noticed a few round flame-colored fruits she had never seen before.

“Caecilia puts quince and lemon juice on her skin?” Tita asked as she ate her apple wedge.

“She actually rolls quinces, oranges and lemons on her skin.” Elena noted.

“That is an orange?” Tita pointed to the flame-colored fruits in the bowl.

“Yes. I will let you try that next. They are very good and sweet.”

“She rolls the fruit every day?”

“Yes… Perfumes are not a requirement, for Aurelia or myself. But they help reinforce your presence with a patron, especially if the perfume is very pleasant. When Caecilia first trained with me last October, she had the idea to roll quinces and lemons on her skin. She did not get reactions and her skin stayed healthy. So she continued to do it. Then after a month or so, she asked if she could also roll oranges on her skin. So we let her try and she had no reactions. So she continues to use all three of them. The orange is the sweet scent you smell on her.

“Later this evening, you can ask Caecilia about her specific methods. She will be your roommate, along with Claudia. I believe you will find each other compatible. She has been waiting for you to arrive. She gets along very well with Claudia.”

“Yes. Caecilia seems very nice and direct. She told me just before she took me in that she, Claudia and I will share the same sleeping room, and that Claudia now spends Friday and Saturday with a patron. He is Gaius Petronius?”

“Yes. Since Claudia had been away for eight months to convince you to come to Pompeii, Petronius became anxious he would never see Claudia again. So now he prefers to spend more time with her and enjoy her at his villa, along with his wife Cornelia and their friends Maras Staius Lucius and his wife Octavia and Pontius Papius and Diana Pontia and a few others.-”

“I am sorry I kept Claudia away for so long. It was a difficult decision for me. I hope she did not lose too many clients.”

Elena looked intently at Tita, clasping her arm. “Your decision was an important, life-changing one. You needed time to consider your decision carefully. Claudia wanted to spend the time necessary to convince you, and to see her family. Aurelia and I were already in agreement to let Claudia spend whatever time necessary to convince you to come. She loves you dearly and it was very important for her that you join her here. Now that I see you, I agree even more with what she did.”

Tita was moved by Elena’s kindness. She looked down, “Thank you.”

“Regarding Claudia’s clients, yes, naturally she lost clients. But her regular clients have welcomed her back very enthusiastically. Now they all want her to stay at their villas to enjoy her more. So her business has actually improved considerably.”

“Oh, then she has many to entertain for long hours.”

Elena grinned. “Are you worried for Claudia?” she asked in a joking manner.

Tita giggled. “Oh no. Claudia handles everything so well. She is so much more confident and capable than me. No, I was wondering if I could ever have her confidence and wit to entertain people for many hours.” Tita sighed. “I think I have been a bit sheltered with my parents and their occupation and my spots. I did not go to school and Gergovia is a quiet little town compared to other places.  So my life has been very quiet and simple and I am a bit shy and fearful by nature. I do not have Claudia’s confidence. Claudia lived on a farm, so she gained confidence just by dealing with the farm animals. She is stronger than me.”

Elena continued to look at Tita intently. “It is good you measure yourself to Claudia. She is a good woman and role model. But remember- you kept good company with the Bactrian dancers by yourself, not just for a few hours or days, but for two weeks. So clearly, you have beauty, goodness and merits that others want to appreciate and enjoy.”

Tita was surprised by Elena’s statement. She had not thought of her two-week journey from Rome to Pompeii with the Bactrian women as comparable to what she would do in Pompeii. But she realized there probably were similarities after all. “Thank you,” she said. “I did not realize that.”

Elena smiled, keeping her hand on Tita’s arm. “We women are famous for how much we negatively judge ourselves. We have been created that way by the gods, to always try to improve ourselves. Now, it is good that we try to improve ourselves. But, it is important that we base such improvements on correct perceptions.

“Confidence is based on faith and faith is best founded on the positive judgments of others. Knowing why others respect, love or see good in you can help you confirm your own positive perceptions as well as help you correct your own negative perceptions. The positive judgments of others have strong value. Use them to build your confidence. It takes time, but it can be done, little by little.”

Tita looked at Elena, amazed at her deep wisdom, even though Elena seemed only a little older than Tita. As Claudia had often said, Elena was like an oracle for women. Tita wondered how Elena got to be this way.

“Yes… Thank you,” was all Tita could say.

“Getting back to Claudia, sometimes she stays at Petronius’s villa until Sunday morning. But these past two Fridays, anticipating your arrival, Claudia went with Tulia. They are good friends.”

“Yes. Claudia told me she is very good friends with Tulia and that when she first arrived in November of 68, she practiced with Tulia to learn how to let women enjoy.”

Elena nodded. “Excellent that Claudia told you everything. Good. She is anxious to see you, naturally. But Claudia preferred to be advised around Saturday midday if you had arrived. This way she could stay focused on Petronius, Cornelia and their friends on Friday evenings and leave them with Tulia Saturday evenings. So we will advise her tomorrow around noon and I expect she will return to the villa tomorrow afternoon to see you.”

Tita nodded. “Claudia likes to be focused on her work. She is very good about that.”

“Do you like to be focused on your work?” asked Elena.

Tita chuckled. “Claudia always says I am too focused.”

Elena smiled. “Claudia told us similarly. But that is not a bad thing Tita, so long as you do not obsess.”

Tita looked down. “Maybe I worry a bit too much.”

“That is normal when you have low confidence and new situations. It is why experience has great value.”

“Yes…” Tita paused and looked at Elena intently. “Claudia told me that I may have to entertain Petronius… or I guess now him and his wife and friends.”

“Yes. Claudia has piqued their interest to meet you.”

“Do you think I will need to have sex with Claudia for that?”

Elena looked at Tita for a moment and nodded. “Very good Tita. It is good that you ask. Claudia said you had both discussed this a lot.”

“Yes. We talked about it often enough as she tried to convince me to come. She thought many patrons would request this when they saw us together because of our white skin and red hair and freckles. Claudia and I are very close and we feel very comfortable with each other. But when we tried kissing a little, it felt strange…”

“Were you disgusted by the kissing?”

Tita paused to consider. “Disgusted no. I think because we had talked about it a lot and I wondered about it also. And we used to play kiss as children. And also, I like women. And Claudia learned to like women with Tulia. But Claudia and I, we are like sisters, so it felt… strange… It was funny and nice but we did not want to continue. We were shy and constantly laughing. I think our mood was not right.”

“Claudia told me similarly when she returned a month ago. She was not disgusted, but she was ambivalent. The fact that you are not sisters but related through your mothers provides a very special context for your relationship. It is good you and Claudia talked about it and that you both tried a little contact. And it is good that you are concerned about it. If neither of you were disgusted, that is a good sign. But it is not a definitive one.

“You will need time to practice with each other and proceed very delicately and slowly. There are ways to help both of you approach this in a more delicate fashion, if you want to continue trying. We can talk about it with Claudia when she returns.

“But you must always be completely honest with yourself and pay close attention to your viscera, feelings and reactions when you try. And not just this particular activity, but any work you will be doing. Otherwise the work will disgust you and you will hate it.”

Tita nodded. “Yes Elena. Thank you… How do you know so much?”

Elena smiled broadly. “Experience,” she said in low voice with a knowing look.

Tita giggled, though she felt awkward from Elena’s enticing look. She wanted to kiss her. “Claudia sang your praises a lot. I guess I am a fan.”

Elena smiled sweetly, clasping Tita’s arm. “Thank you, and it is absolutely my pleasure.”

Tita blushed. “Thank you,” she said quietly, looking down. She reflected on the truth of what Claudia had said about Elena- her beauty, charm, confidence and wisdom. Tita was in awe of Elena and Elena’s confidence attracted her even more. Elena’s scent continued to excite Tita as she imagined kissing and licking Elena’s breasts. Tita blushed again. “I am sorry. I-… You are very attractive.”

Elena smiled graciously, putting her hand on Tita’s arm again. “And so are you. You have a quiet, tender way that matches your warm blue eyes, small pretty nose and full lips. You inspire warmth and tenderness. I imagine you kiss wonderfully well.”

Tita smiled while blushing strongly, feeling embarrassed. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“It is we who should thank you for deciding to join us. Through Claudia’s constant praise of you, Aurelia and I also became fans of you. Claudia truly loves you like a sister. And her love for you spread to us as well, and to Caecilia too, even though Caecilia has known Claudia for only a month. But during the year Claudia was here, before her trip to get you, every day she spoke of you in the warmest terms. She knew you would flourish here. So in the end, we are all blessed to have you here. I am very happy to meet you and I know you made the right decision.” Elena squeezed Tita’s hand, smiling broadly.

Tita smiled and looked down, trying to fight back the tears of tenderness she felt for her dearest cousin. “Thank you,” said Tita softly, as she wiped her eyes and then fanned herself. Elena motioned for her to drink and Tita nodded and sipped water from her cup as Elena reached for another apple and cut it in half, then cut the halves into wedges and cut out the cores, giving two wedges to Tita.

“Thank you.” Tita sighed and regained her composure as she ate the apple wedges. “Are there other new girls?” Tita finally asked, wanting to change the subject.

“Naturally. In the past eight months we have had twelve more girls arrive.”

Tita was very surprised. “Twelve? How many are there now?”

“Forty-one, plus you. Another five are due to arrive in the next two months. And another one in three months. Then we will evaluate if we want to house more.-”

“Fifty women, including you and Aurelia?”

“In three months, yes.”

Tita was even more surprised. “By the grace of Venus! Aurelia’s villa must be very big and beautiful to house so many women. Claudia described the villa to me, but I imagined something smaller. With all the slaves and farming help, and lodgings for guests, and fifty women, and the men also, and all the guest rooms, it must be a royal villa!”

Elena nodded. “Very good Tita. You must be good with dimensions.”

Tita smiled. “Yes, Claudia says I have a head for numbers, distances and geography.”

“Good! Something else you can appreciate about yourself. That is not a common trait. And while Claudia has a lot inner strength and positivity, I suspect you are fundamentally positive like Claudia, as you proved by deciding to come here. With a little practice and experience, I believe you will enjoy and excel in this work. You just need to value yourself in a more balanced way.” Elena squeezed Tita’s arm again, smiling.

Tita blushed. “Thank you,” she said quietly as she finished her last apple wedge and thought about Claudia’s strength. The water clock chimed again.