December 18, 2022
First, I want to thank you again for letting me meet you. I know how important your privacy is for you so I feel deeply privileged to meet the ‘great Elena’ in person after reading your writings and wondering how you might be in real life. I thought you might be awesome, but you really exceeded my expectations!
I’m sorry if I seemed a bit obsequious during our meeting. I don’t know why I was like that. Usually I’m the dominant one, courtesy of my genes! I guess in these years of thinking about you and your work, I have built up a giant idol in my head about you. I’m sorry! I’ll try to dismantle it ASAP!
Regarding your comments in your email about the website, all is good. Thank you! Like I mentioned during our meeting, the next step is to review the navigational aspects- how users might browse the site, how we want to reference the articles, how should we group them, etc. Staff has been preparing some navigation options and I think this Wednesday might be a good day to meet again and review those aspects with Samantha, who also wants to meet you. Samantha is spearheading the website organization effort. Let me know what time you’re available and where you would like to meet.
I’m glad you like the homepage image. As I said in the meeting, that image of the woman holding sunflowers really spoke to me and Samantha. You had mentioned sunflowers in your first email to me, and Samantha and I really loved that reference, also because it ties to your own name, which I’m sure you know. So I thought it was a perfect symbol for the site.
Yes, I agree that we can definitely welcome all types of comments, and I thoroughly love the overall intent. But as you probably have seen already, I am a stickler for details. And I want to make sure some of your text isn’t seen as gratuitously provocative or that some popular influencer takes offense and creates a controversy over nothing. As you know, in this day age, any little comment can create a social media firestorm. So it’s important that we try to calibrate and massage the text where we can. I would really hate it if your beautiful words and overall message were ignored or dismissed out of hand because someone with a bullhorn didn’t like what you wrote.
Maybe that will happen anyway. But at least now, with your precious availability, we have the chance to see if any of the details need a little more smoothing and polishing. So thanks again for making yourself available!
I know you have the long view of things (naturally!) and you are certainly a far better predictor of human nature than me. Still, I just want to make sure we minimize any potential bumps during our serial publishing so that your message spreads with all of the love and encouragement it really deserves….
On a separate, more personal note, as ‘full disclosure’ and relating to ‘love and encouragement’, I don’t know what it is, but… you have revolutionized my soul! Or maybe I should say my id... Or perhaps more specifically my libido! Because since our meeting I can’t stop thinking about you in, shall we say, delicious ways. And here I was thinking all this time I was a straight woman! 😂
I’m sorry to confess this, but my brain and feelings are just ‘on fire’ with you. Maybe it’s your beauty, or your magnetism, or your perfume, or your whole wonderful persona. Or maybe it’s just my idol building gone amok and refusing to take you down! 😂
I mean, it has gotten to the point where I’m even looking in a certain way at women more than men- which is completely crazy! What have you done to me! 😂
Though to be honest, I find this new type of ardor a lot of fun and incredibly refreshing! It’s been a while since I’ve felt this way generally. So thank you!
Maybe I should not have said the above. And I’m sure I’ll regret mentioning it at some point because it is embarrassing. Though oddly, confessing my infatuation for you is not as embarrassing as I thought it might be.
What I mean is, I’ve been trying to analyze myself for these past two days since our meeting, to figure out why all of a sudden I’m feeling this way. At first, I thought this newfound passion in you was completely ridiculous. I really felt like an idiot, as if somehow I had suddenly reverted to teenage crushes from fifteen years ago. I wondered where all my self-control had gone!
But now, two days later, the idea of this infatuation is not so embarrassing. I guess my mind somehow knew this was going to happen and it has already started to accept it. Maybe deep down, without even realizing it, I was already in madly love with ‘the great Elena’.
Samantha says you’ve thoroughly infected me, apparently more than I realized! I guess I’m being ‘assimilated by the Borg’ (if you’ve ever watched “Star Trek: The Next Generation”.) 😂. But I don’t mind saying, it’s wonderful to know that at least the object of my affection is worth every drop of it. That makes me feel very lucky!
The only one who really thinks my infatuation is great is my boyfriend. He has been needling me all weekend with off-color jokes and fantasies of a specific type, for reasons which I’m sure you realize. I’ll just leave it at that because I’m already blushing!
But in trying to take your wonderful long view, and to avoid taking myself too seriously, I just wanted to let everyone know that meeting Elena can have potential side effects! 😂
Now I understand much better why Samantha’s dad felt the way he did after meeting you.
Mostly, I wanted to mention all this foolishness now, in case I make some off-color remark later. I apologize for it now! I know it’s completely silly, but I’m afraid I may not be able to contain myself. I’m sorry Elena, if I sound like a ridiculous fan girl, even though I’m 30 and normally quite self-possessed! Hopefully this ardor will pass and not interfere too much with our work together.
Somehow, I have the intuition that you have experienced this a lot in your long life. So please don’t mind me if I say something utterly silly. Thank you!
Elizabeth (trying to dismantle my mental idol of you, but failing spectacularly!)